The Reality of Caring for Orphaned Children

Every trip to Bolingo Village brings an opportunity to notice moments. Sometimes, these moments are beautiful. Sometimes they’re funny. Sometimes, they’re things of note that need addressing. It’s incredible to realize that I have more and more time to spend observing the small things with each passing trip. In my mind, this means that we’re really doing it! Bolingo Village is up and running on its’ own. There are no catastrophic realizations or major fixes that need to happen anymore. Now, it’s all about fine-tuning. How can we make the most significant impact on each child rather than the village as a whole?

What I noticed on this trip is that the reality of caring for orphaned children is more challenging than expected. Kids who have experienced significant trauma can often struggle with behavioral issues that differ from the norm. Now that we have 44 children, it’s become evident that our foster moms may not be fully equipped to handle our kids’ struggles. Sure, our foster moms are all mothers to their own biological children. They’re all social services certified professionals. They have all fostered before. The reality is that this is a whole new ball game.

This is not to say that our kids aren’t happy or that our moms aren’t trying their absolute best. For any adoptive parents reading, you understand that the trauma of losing your parents, being abandoned, or suffering abuse creates a lasting impact on a child. Their brains have been wired for survival, and it can be tough for the brain to get out of that fight or flight mentality. Equally problematic is understanding the best way to communicate with a child exhibiting behavior consistent with a traumatic past. Multiply that by 8 kids, and you have what our foster moms are working with.

Luckily, we have put things into motion to get our foster moms training to educate them specifically on trauma-based care. This training will be ongoing and intimate. It will allow our moms to ask specific questions, go through personal scenarios, and gain the tools to help them understand what their foster kids are going through. We’re very hopeful that this will be an impactful step in the healing process for our sweet kiddos. Every child deserves an opportunity to heal from a past that they never should’ve had in the first place.